“Forgive me, Father; I have sinned. “I’ve been with a loose girl.” The priest inquires, “Is that you, little Tommy O’Shaughnessy?” “Yes, Father. It is.” “And who was the girl you were with?” “I cannot tell you, Father. I don’t want to damage her reputation.”

“Well, Tommy, I’m sure I’ll find out her name eventually, so you might as well tell me right now. Was it Patricia Fitzgerald? “I cannot say.” “Was it Lisa O’Shanter?” “I’ll never tell.” “Was it Cathy O’Dell?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.” “Was it Fiona Mallory?” “My lips are sealed.” “Was it Brenda O’Malley, then?” “Please, Father, I cannot tell you.” The priest sighs in frustration. “I admire your firm lips. But you sinned, and you must atone. You can no longer serve as an altar boy until four months have passed. Now, go and behave yourself.”

“Yes, Father.” Tommy returns to his seat, and his pal Sean approaches and whispers, “What’d you get?” Tommy grinned. “Four months vacation and five good leads!”