Four hours into an overcrowded flight, I felt something warm graze my elbow and found five bare toes stretched entirely across my armrest. The smell immediately caught my attention, prompting me to twist in my seat. The passenger seated directly behind me was a man around forty five years old, sporting an expensive watch and large headphones, with his shoes carelessly abandoned beneath his seat. I politely requested that he move his foot, but he merely lifted his headphones to argue that his feet needed to breathe. I suggested he let them breathe in his own seating area, pointing out that his foot was resting on my space. He gave me a smug grin, claiming we were all sharing space on the airplane, and suggested I use my other armrest. Ten minutes later, unexpected turbulence sent his toes brushing against my sleeve again, prompting me to turn back and firmly demand he move his foot. He let out a dramatic sigh, acting as though my request was completely unreasonable. The woman sitting beside me, Diane, wrinkled her nose in disgust, but the man just chuckled and told us we needed to relax.
Recognizing that arguing further would accomplish nothing, I decided to wait until the rude passenger drifted off to sleep twenty minutes later, leaving his bare foot resting inches from my arm. A highly mischievous idea occurred to me, and feeling completely unaccommodating after his repeated refusals, I enlisted Diane to act as my lookout. I leaned toward her and quietly explained my plan, which caused her to suppress her laughter as she agreed to block his view if he woke up. I reached beneath the seat to retrieve my bag and opened it to find a special gift I had purchased for my eight year old daughter, Megan. I had bought her a Barbie beauty kit containing six pink nail polishes and plastic rings featuring giant imitation gemstones. Borrowing a few pieces seemed entirely harmless, so I took out the brightest polish and, shielded by Diane, carefully brushed a coat of hot pink onto his big toenail. He remained completely motionless as I worked across his other nails, meticulously choosing a different shade of pink for every single toe. With the painting finished, I slipped two incredibly large toy rings onto his toes.
At that precise moment, the sleeping man stirred and scratched his nose, but he simply turned toward the window to resume his loud snoring while Diane and I sat perfectly still. I quickly closed the nail polish bottle, packed away the remaining gifts, and leaned back to admire the five bright pink toenails and two sparkling rings adorning his foot. Roughly forty minutes later, he woke up, removed his headphones, and stood to use the restroom, deciding that putting his shoes back on was unnecessary. As he walked down the aisle, the oversized plastic jewels caught the cabin lights with every step, leaving several rows of people watching his brightly decorated feet in amusement. Even a passing flight attendant struggled to maintain a professional expression, which made the man angrily demand to know what everyone was staring at. When he finally looked down, he turned bright red and wheeled around to angrily ask what I had done. I smiled sweetly and explained that since he refused to move his foot after three polite requests, I thought his toes might enjoy some decoration. He accused me of humiliating him and furiously yanked at the stubborn rings before stomping toward the restroom.