My mother-in-law continues to show me severe disrespect, so I have stopped cooking and cleaning for her.

I (21) am extremely pregnant with twins and have a two-year-old son. My husband (27) requested that we have his mother move in with us owing to her spouse’s death (6 months before) and advanced age. Since then, I’ve been uncomfortable living with my mother-in-law since she is incredibly picky and always finds something wrong with the way I do things. I come from a different culture than her, but I do my best to respect hers.

She has been ordering me around since she moved in with me, and because she is my husband’s mother, I have tried everything I can to satisfy her, but I can’t. She finds fault in everything I do! It has become so stressful for me that I end myself in tears. She once asked me to cook a cuisine from her home country, but she refused to help me. And she only had one bite before telling me it was terrible and throwing her entire plate away.

She’s always monitoring me when I’m cleaning, telling me that I’m not doing it correctly and that she can’t believe her son would marry someone who doesn’t know how to be a wife. I simply feel like she’s disrespectful, and when I encourage her to treat me better, she runs to my husband, claiming I’m the one being disrespectful to her. I’m pregnant, exhausted, and can’t take it anymore, so I told my mother-in-law that enough is enough and that I’m not doing anything for her until she learns to respect me, and whether she likes it or not, I’m the mother of her grandson and unborn granddaughters, so I’m family.

She informed me that ladies out here don’t know how to respect their elders, and she was disgusted when her son selected me. She eventually called my husband, who of course heard her side of the story and sympathized with his mother without listening to me. He is furious and believes I should be putting more effort into maintaining the relationship with his mother, especially because she is still grieving.

But the truth is that I brought this to my husband’s notice several times, and all he did was belittle his mother’s actions and imply that she will warm up to me soon enough, which she hasn’t.

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