When I was eighteen years old my first boyfriend and I made a heartfelt promise in a parking lot after a concert. We were heading to colleges in different states that August. We agreed that if we were both single in twenty years we would meet again at a concert for that exact same band. We broke up by that spring simply because the distance became impossible to manage. I moved forward with my life and eventually met the wonderful man I married. We had a beautiful daughter together and built a happy life. Sadly my husband tragically passed away in March. A few weeks ago my sixteen year old daughter asked me to take her to see that very same band because none of her friends wanted to go. I agreed to take her. I honestly never expected my former boyfriend to actually be there after twenty one years of silence. Much to my absolute shock I spotted him standing three rows away just fifteen minutes into the show.
I stepped away to buy water for my daughter and he approached me while I was waiting in line. We moved to a quieter area near the concession stands so we could hear each other properly. He explained right away that he had never married. He then shared a secret he had been carrying since our freshman year of college. He confessed that he drove to the house of my parents just three days before Christmas during our first winter break apart. He had come to ask if our breakup was truly what we wanted or if it was just because the distance was difficult. My father answered the door that night and told my former boyfriend that I was not home. My father completely fabricated a story claiming that I was doing much better and that I was seeing someone new at school. He explicitly told my former boyfriend that I wanted to be left alone so I could move forward with my life.
Hearing this revelation completely took my breath away because I was actually working a holiday shift at a bookstore that entire evening. I spent that entire winter break staring at the telephone and wondering if he would ever call me. Suddenly a memory of my father on his deathbed six years earlier came rushing back to me. My father had apologized for making a decision that was never his to make. I finally understood what he meant. During my freshman year my father had found college transfer brochures in my room. He was terrified I would abandon a great education just because I missed my boyfriend. He saw a boy on our porch who might convince his daughter to change her entire future so he lied to protect me. My former boyfriend admitted he believed my father. I admitted I felt abandoned when he never reached out. We both acknowledged that while my father pushed us apart the two decades of silence that followed were our own fault.